Three months ago I was....

Yep. That's right. It's been 3 months. Almost. Three months ago right
now I was just about ready to die. And. Also. Believed I might. That
pain is but a distant memory now. Praise God!
But my little guy is not so little anymore.
He actually rather giant like.
Our recient achievements have included rolling over ( my this I mean
he's actually doing it more consistantly now..... He began this last
month)
Grabbing things and putting them in his mouth.
Keeping his hands in his mouth.
Always. Always with the slobbery hands in the mouth.
Having the strenth to sit up by himself.... Though we are wobbley.
New sounds
A facination with food
A new cry quite unlike
The little baby cry that is.....how shall I say.... Very
annoying...and henceforth....very effective)
No more wobbley head

He's quite the little man now. Very very sure of himself as well.
We love him.
But.
Who wouldn't
He's pretty awesome.

A society raised on lies

Overthe last year I have pretty much only blogged about pregnancy and
babies. And while that is pretty much the theme of my life..... I do
still have a mind which I on occation use.
Lately I've come across some pretty interesting and some pretty gross
things involving childhood education and indoctrination. First being a
post from this blog which I posted on facebook ( http://stewartspeak.com/
) talking about the book " why mommy is a democrat" and how they
save the world. Democrats aren't satans minions. But really. This is
crap.
Second:
I had a conversation with my mother (who is a teacher currently
teaching my old preschool /kindergarten class back in Idaho) who was
telling me of some fourth grade material on "safe homosexual sex" with
illustrated how-tos on fisting. Really. First of all... O MY GOSH! I
do not and would never want my fourth grader hearing these things.
But..... I refuse to be dumb. I know that fourth graders are more
informed and exsperianced at their age than I probably was at 16.
( sad) but really. Who gets of thinking it's okay to teach any child
of any age this stuff. And that it's the schools place to do so.
Crap
Crap
Crappity crap.
I am a parent now.
So I can say this with ferver.
I'll be damned if I let the world indoctrinate my son in this way.
Period.

...side effects...

Tubes.
Still.
Weak.
Still.
Starving.
Still.
On couch.
Still.
Now.
Mastitis.
What's one more.
Ahh.
I can't win.

My hospital journey.....

I have been gone.
I know.
Here's why.
Wednesday and Thursday mornin I was gearing up for company coming.
All our family was coming up for what was suppose to be Jadens Baby
detication at church today.
My parents come from Idaho.
My inlaws and sister-in-law came up from Yakima. They are currently
staying at my other sister-in-laws house.
Friday was lovely.....
UNTIL........
We got takeout from brown latern.
I got a Chicken sandwhichand some
Fries(<-triggers attacts try tell me) z. I got chicken because I had
indeed slowly began transitioning back to a vegan diet. To feel
better. My body liked it. But by gollie those turkey sandwhiches were
nice during pregnancy.
Anyway.
Sidetracked.
Sorry.
Small chest pain immediately after dinner.
Not worried.
Had major acid reflux during pregnancy.
Since My son was born I had had 3 other episodes of pain like this. I
began attributing it to has that got
Stuck in my tummy. Babies do in fact rearrange your insides. No.fun.
Those episodes of pain had usually lasted about 30 minutes.
They.
Were.
HORRID.
I would liken them to labor pains. It felt like a contraction in my
rib cage that never let go .
Anyway.
It happened this time.
Only THIS time it
WOULDN'T STOP!!!!!!!
Hours went by.
Luckily baby was sleepy.
I only had to feed him once.
It started at about 8pm.....
It persist.
Then came bathroom time.
I did
Everything you can imagine in there.
( well I guess that's how demented you are...maybe not everything)
Came to the hospital at about 4am
They think it's my gallblatter.
Get nausia and pain meds.
They are good.
No....great.
Ultrasound time.
Very strange to have an ultrasound and NOT be looking at baby.
Gallstones.
Lots of them.
Little ones.
The kinds that travel places.
They told
Me if it worked it's way into a certain area.....that that pain would
be 10x worse AND it would be uncurable. I'd live with it for the rest
of my life.
I did not like this option.
After some tears and deliberation.
They immediately scheduled my surgery.
Went in at 1.....
Don't remember passing out.
Last thing I remember I was talking to the nurse about being able to
see my gallblatter. I like
That sorta thing.
I came out at 2:30
Woke up at 3:30
Back to the room by 4:30
Jon is much better now.....I think he was a wreck.....though we will
not admit it.
So...I saw it. It was packed with little stones.
I believe them now.
My gallblatter was also much smaller than I would Have though.
Odd.
They were se naughty little stones that made their way towards my
intestines. They are stuck. That is why i vomit up all my food. Have
to go for a second proceedure at a different hospital today...
(hopfully) sometime.
They go down through my mouth to
Flush them out.
Yay.
Not so thrilled.
I gag.
So I stopped taking my morphine. Didn't think
It did a whole lot.

Have sething like Motron for pain....bit it made me throw up....so
then they gave me anti nausia meds.
Which didn't really help.
So I stopped that too.
I am now just on a fluid iv.
It hurts but.....
I'd rather deal with that then the side effects.
Also.
I'm
Pumping.
Or
Trying to.
But you don't make much milk when u have no water and no food!!!!!
So.....poor guys getting formula too.
He LOVES it I'm told. Not happy about that bit I am glad he's eating.
And it's okay since I can't feed him much now.
But.
Bottom line.
I HATE that my babys getting fed out of a can.... And that I can feed
him now.
I pumped a full bottle this morning.
Last pump was about 1 1/2 oz:(
Hospital pumps work better though.
So anyway.
Im soooo thirsty
I only get ice.
Next I get to DRINK water
Then juice.
Then jello
Then broth....which I
Will live
On this week most likely.
The low
Fat to a NO FAT diet for the next two months.
Low fat for the rest of my life.
And very small meals. Always.
No thanksgiving for me:)
Guess I am destined to be a veggie/vegan:)
Thank you frenchfries.
I hate you.

Day three

This is a sad excuse for blog.
But it has been a very. Bad. Day.
The small wonder is sick.
Very cranky.
Very clingy.
Very needy.
Hmmmm.
I'm tired.
Company tomorrow.
my parents are coming for the baby detication on Sunday.
Need to clean the house.
But when.
Ouch.
My head.
Goodnight.
Sleep would be nice.
But...
Alas.
It is unlikely.

Day two

Well I made two so far...
Perhaps that's it.
So yesterday cont.....

My darling child would NOT nap yesterday.... He finally took his first
nap since 9am at 245pm. Yeah. Cranky. No doubt.
My eye dr appt was at 345.....so I had to wake him up twenty minutes
before. Now he's hungry...even though he ate 30 minutes ago..he has
since then slept...and is now hungry.
Now I put him in in his car seat.
To say he hates this is an understatement. He loaths this.you see... I
do not have one of these children that fall asleep when the car starts
going. No. He screams.... Forever. The only way he calms sown is if we
are on the freeway for more than 30 minute. He likes going fast. So
this will come in handy when we travel for holidays.... But not
everyday.
So he screamed.
We got there.
He screamed.
Jon was late at relieving me.
So the nice eye people stalled and allowed me to feed him.
Jon came.
More screaming.
From my son not jon.
But alas time for eye exam.
My eye doctor talks fast.
He is very informative.
But a fast talker.
He told me I have abnormally large eyeballs.
He said it was not a compliment.
I'm evidently just a freak of nature.
I also have many lil quirky things in my eyes that are very
uncommon.:..especially for those of us not ordering off of the SC menu.
He told me my eyes were worse.
I knew that.
That is in fact why we were there.
Duh.
He also told me my left eye is slowly becoming nonfuctional......as a
result I should exspect to be legally blind ..( if not entirely
blind)....later in life. We do not know when. Yay.
Thus is not uncommon.
My aunt is legally blind in the exact same eye.

On another note.
My son.
Quite unhappy this week.
Dunno.

Uh...